Friday, 19 October 2007

sigh.. what a miserable week this has been.

dear went off to brunei 2 days ago (tues) for a 3-week long training course. i spent monday and tuesday w him so those 2 days were rather slack. and now im still slacking. have been slacking this whole week la. dno why i cant seem to pick myself up and get to work. the feeling of slacking sucks.

i have some goals this month. they include: 1) getting more disciplined 2) finally starting on my revision for finals 3) starting on an exercise program 4) seriously doing my physio exercises for my core muscles

so far none of them have been embarked on, from what i see.

in fact, my health has deteriorated. im now a blasted 62 kg! and my hair keeps dropping out.. there are a few strands on my keyboard now. my complexion is horrendous.. my fats are spilling out of my clothes.. im perpetually on the verge of developing a sore throat.. 2 of my frens are now sick so i guess it wont be long before its my turn -.- sheesh

next week onwards, it's 5 weeks to final exams. gawd. i have to do SO MUCH revision for my chem modules that it's unbelievable. and i have to start N-O-W. i remember what Doc Bettens (chem module lecturer) told us at the start of the sem: you have to keep up, if not ull be toast by the time the exams come. it frightens me. yet, i still just do whatever's urgently required the day after and neglect everything else =( gawd. so screwed.

i hate it when dear and i quarrel when either of us are overseas.. i mean its not just that it makes both of us feel worse than if we're juz quarrelling locally, but the phone bill explodes too. what with all the angry breathing and silences in-between.. the talk-time can easily stretch to outrageous proportions. sigh.

*thinks* im really a v contradictory person, i feel.. oh well

i have a confession to make /_\ and i know dear will be so disappointed to know this. haiix. i went back to the bazaar today and i ended up buying tons more swimwear. im afraid to reveal the actual figures. but it seems lik im prob never gonna wear those bikinis outside of my own room so my buys are pretty much wasted, albeit the great prices and awesome prints. oh well i guess i dun even haf the figure to wear bikinis so it shldnt come as a surprise anyway. *shakes head* the painful aftermath of an impulse buy!

suja draft's 2 actually due 2ml (fri) but my super-nice-and-generous tutor Ms Lee extended my deadline to monday.. she's so nice la.. my suja's still screwed nonetheless. i feel so screwed. :(:(:(:(

actually.. im not v honest with dear. there's alot i dun tell him. i guess im scared he wont be able to take it. juz lik the other time he told me he looks at other girls and i cldnt take it. i know i cldnt bear to have him feel the way towards me that i did towards him at that time. shldnt couples always be truthful to one another and tell each other everything? i dno.. scorps have alot of secrets. and its true that ignorance is bliss.. i guess as long as i feel i can deal with the issue on my own, its not necessary to tell him abt it.. also cuz of how sensitive and insecure he is at times.. some things are juz not worth ruining the peace for.

reaching out again
12:16 am

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