Saturday, 11 August 2007

hmm.. just bathed. 2.13 am now.. what a sian day. i stayed at home the entire day.. original plan was to go RAG with huixin and then go bra-shopping at 5 pm.. but in the end huixin cancelled the bra-shopping and i decided to stay home and try to bid for more modules cuz round 2B ended at 5 pm.. why did she cancel leh? only for.. who else, but the one.. the only..BL. =.= so irritating. im starting to detest him more n more. first he comes up with all that bullshit (no details to be given here), and now because of him, our plans are ruined. i mean i wldnt be as irritated if it were only my plans i guess. but this time cuz my mom was involved so it's lik really not v nice? as in we decided to go bra-shop today at Robinsons cuz my mom has membership discount there. so after our shopping she'd flash her membership card and get us discounts! but yeah now it's shifted to 2ml. sheesh. all that BL's fault la! i tink if he din create so many probs in their r/s then today's meeting wldnt haf been SO impt enuf to cancel our meeting >< and even worse, it seems lik it wasnt v worth it. but ohwell who am i to say anyth bout it right.. not lik i was there. Grrr.

i guess i shld be adopting a better attitude, like since that meeting with BL is really impt to huixin so i shld be gracious and let it go and hope for the best for them. yeah i do hope for the best. but i cant help feeling irritated. i don't like idiots who ill-treat huixin and even more so when their existence affects MY life. BL is so not C+ now =_= i just hope he's worth all this trouble in the end.

bidding sucks lah! i only have 4 modules now since i got outbidded for that stupid SP1202 module. i guess i shldve listened to my senior and stuck to my slot 4 instead of trying for slot 3 esp when the bidding was so competitive. but dammit la, if i'd stuck to slot 4 i wldve ended sch at 6 pm on 2 days! slot 3 wldve allowed me to end sch 2 hours earlier =.= aiyah but now imma end sch super early everyday la.. sem 1's gonna be so slack. im quite worried actually. stupid stupid bidding! all the modules i want either not available or ppl throw until how many hundred/thousand bidpoints la! yr 1 freshie where got so mani points to play with! kns. i just hope tht the stupid chem department refunds me all the points i invested in my 2 chem modules when they do the LONG OVERDUE pre-allocation. sheesh. if not ill seriously be lacking in bidpoints for the following semesters. might as well not study at all.

i realise im sounding real emo in my above paras. really dno why. im feeling so high-strung nowadays. get pissed so easily. think there's alot of things on my mind. haiiix. yesterday went swimming with huixin. wanted to collapse after just 1 measly lap of freestyle omg. super unfit haiiiix. my heart was beating super fast and i was totally winded. what's happened to me!!! arghhh!! before that, my mom saw my bankbook and blasted me for spending so much $$. she said she din wanna see anymore packages in the mail.. =/ but before the scolding i had juz made some orders online.. uh oh.. i feel so stressed out abt that la.. sigh. like what if she sees the packages that haf yet to come? will she go hysterical? she can be as hysterical as huixin's mom sometimes u noe.. seriously. dno what's wrong with her when she goes hysterical.. i kinda zone out when that happens. ohwell. waste of time.

then im worried about uni.. like i was reading module descriptions and recommended readings on the NUS IVLE.. and omg when i read the list of text references i was lik.. so tired... this is a bad sign.. haiix.. and Mr Tiew said i MUST do my preparation before my lectures. so i must always go borrow lib books ah. but im so not interested in reading cheemo chem textbooks as bedtime stories =(( im like over-stressing myself. Jo says this is counter-productive but oh well.. what can i do.. i guess next week i'll get to taste how uni life is really like.. ohwait not REALLY yet, cuz no tutorials/labs yet. guess time will tell then.

2ml is RAG day for NUS and i feel quite bad cuz i only went down to help out lik twice? sigh. i stayed home today to pack my room but i din get anyth done as usual =( feel lik such a failure. dno lah.... must jiayou! must jiayou! must get off my butt and JIAYOU!! or whatever. . .

dun like quarrelling with dear esp when either one of us r overseas =( feels sucky listening to silence on the phone and knowing each second is money bein wasted. and i mean.. it's bad enuf that we're actually quarrelling... guess it makes me feel rather insecure esp since these 3 weeks havnt been easy.. hope things will look up. gotta get used to the feeling of having my dear in the same country as me again.. haha

reaching out again
2:37 am

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