we all want to SHINE

So would you dare to be different
When everyone's consolidating
Would you reach out elsewhere
And turn your back on the population
Would you pursue dreams over mountains
Scaling over cliffs of self-resistance
Maybe race to catch a shooting star
When your world's crumbling to pieces
Could you dive deep into the unknown
Or beyond the depths of your imagination
Charting your own path through the winds of fate
Be it to Heaven or your own destruction

So,
Will you go the distance?
Will you dare to be different?

EXUDing light

● Rachel
● 20 yrs old
● Scorpio
● 18/11/88
● itsnotfarnie@hotmail.com
● ex-NY girl
● ex-NJCian
● always an NJ archer :)
● on-off shoppaholic
● NUS Sci - Class of 2007

●RAVES● - sexy hot glam funky fashion/shopping online/shopping w my best galpals ;)/groovy music/comedies/cartoons/movies/documentaries/Knowledge :)/botany & zoology/organic chem/lip products/facial masks/analysing & watching people/learning/aspiring/growing/ appreciating/art & craft/reading/sleeping

♥LOVES♥ - gotta learn to love myself first..

●WANTS● - flattering & affordable clothes/comfy shoes/a toned & healthier body/a redeco-ed room/more space in my room!/a more disciplined me/gorgeous unique accessories/a green thumb/a bright future/for my dreams to come true :)

Tuesday, 31 July 2007

pfffftt.

gosh i feel so frustrated right now. everything's crumbling apart and nothing is going the way i want it to. like it's so late now and i'm still awake. why e hell am i still awake?! i have matriculation 2ml and i'm meeting my friends in school earlier to do RAG and visit the cca fair before my matric slot, and thereafter my OG's going out for a dinner outing. i havn't bathed in two days.. AGAIN. i'm lik bathing on alternate days now la. wtf. cuz i stay up too late and it gets too late to bathe. even tho the day before i told myself oh i must bathe every night before 11 but i just never follow what i tell myself to do. i never keep the promises i make to myself. and for those that i actually did keep, i think it just came through by luck. lik 'A' levels for example. it was by a stoke of luck that i actually did get all my As. lookin at the amt of effort i actually put in compared to what i'd visualized for myself.. it's really too different. and what about all that i'd wanted to accomplish before uni starts? what about all the things i keep on telling myself i must do but never end up doing? what's happening man? what have i become? what? WHAT?!?!!

i really really loathe myself right now. i hate my slackness, i hate my lack of a sense of urgency and most of all i hate my lack of discipline. do i really want to live out my life lik this: always imagining a path of greatness but instead choosing to go down the path of becoming a loser? man.. things just ain't right right now. it's all so wrong, it's gone so terribly wrong. i really don't know what i'm doing right now. ok wait i probably do. but is it too late to turn around? i mean it's end of july and uni starts omg next week?!! o-m-g. i just realised... shit... shit.... wtf is wrong with me!!! there's no time left! damn damn damn! this is even worse than 'A' levels. at least at that time i was keeping track of the time. now i've just gone n lost it and am totally clueless about how much time i've been wasting. a week till uni starts?! shit. i'm lik freaking out right now.

ok you know what? i've had enough. i want my last week before hell breaks loose to at least be tolerable. sigh. enough. seriously. i know what i must do.. and wtf i'm gonna do it. i'll do it. i have to.

I Will Do It.

on a lighter note, i had a great driving session today. hope this keeps up!

reaching out again
2:41 am

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